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    hello

    I am picking this up again.  I have no noble reason. it just feels right.   I miss this as a creative outlet.   it feels like I’ve sorta fallen off the face of the earth but not really. I’ve just fallen more into my life, the place I belong.   I have had some hard questions to wrestle through. questions that, if I am honest, are still stalking me. along the way to here/to hear.   I burnt probably more bridges than I should… but I needed to get to this space of sovereignty.    over these years,  I’ve missed me but I was under my skin the whole…

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    grandma

    last year, my mom called me and told me my grandma died. only she didn’t actually say that or maybe she did. at any rate, last year my grandmother did not die. i was embarrassed and delighted that i had got it wrong. It was sad, nonetheless because my aunt B died instead and this was after a year of 5 losses for my extended family. people were gutted. i was gutted even though i live so far away. these are the people who gave me reality and showed me the world. it hurt. it hurts, even the possibility of losing the ones we love.  so i promised myself since…

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    the life i already eat/remaking the narrative

    “A story is a letter that the author writes to himself, to tell himself things that he would be unable to discover otherwise.” — Carlos Ruiz Zafón I write about gaps a lot but I rarely about jumping into one.there is always a veil that I put between myself and reality as if one were not the same. As if there was some magical force keeping me from me. There is none of those things. Just the refusal of my own self to come inside and claim what already belongs to me. I am tired of writing stories of longing. Longing has become an noose. An excuse. And I am…

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    the good work

    i finally figured out how to upload pictures onto my blog in a rationale manner. so, i am hoping that i can share more of my images here and even , ahem, make a better portfolio of my work. why am i writing about such mundane things when so much is going on here, there and everywhere? i dunno. why not? i guess i wonder if i am doing enough but i don’t know if my doing is the same doing that your doing is and that is okay. we are not a monolithic.  “we have so much “good” work to do,” erica says and it give me pause to…

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    creativity begets creativity

    late last year, when i got inspired to embark on my own self-paced artist residency in motherhood, i had no idea what i was going to do. i thought for sure that i would focus on writing. i love writing. i written a ridiculous amount of essays about how i love writing, how i need to write more and how i need to write better.  underneath all that angst was/is a woman wrestling with perfection and shame. i feel (and this is just my opinion) that for so long we have been sold the idea that our work has to have a monetary value to worthy of pursuit. i feel…

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    more than tolerance

    we don’t have to understand each other completely/ to know that each of us/ is worthy of protection/&  the rhythm of our own lives/ the dignity of our selves in color, in queer, in gender, in class, in body and mental abilities, in religion (or none), in water and sky… we all belong here. we always have. we always will.

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    rest

    some seasons you just need more quiet. I am at that point. I have been juggling way too much these days.  right now, I need a bit more rest and a lot less screens. until we meet again. take fierce care of yourself. be well, k

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    writing

    “Writing and reading decrease our sense of isolation. They deepen and widen and expand our sense of life: they feed the soul. When writers make us shake our heads with the exactness of their prose and their truths, and even make us laugh about ourselves or life, our buoyancy is restored. We are given a shot at dancing with, or at least clapping along with, the absurdity of life, instead of being squashed by it over and over again. It’s like singing on a boat during a terrible storm at sea. You can’t stop the raging storm, but singing can change the hearts and spirits of the people who are…

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    the secert

    “The secret to life is to put yourself in the right lighting. For some, it’s a Broadway spotlight; for others, a lamplit desk. Use your natural powers — of persistence, concentration, and insight — to do work you love and work that matters. Solve problems. make art, think deeply.”― Susan Cain create resistance artist takes action

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