Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working. – Pablo Picasso
in truth, I have been resistant to write here or anywhere about things because I wanted to be careful of the narrative I was projecting into the world and into my own life.
The world is complicated …to say the least. I have very little deep knowledge or philosophy to offer to all the conversations that are going on. I only know that in earnest I want to do what is right and even that can feel confusing. Somehow this relates to art. I think on some level, I thought that this would all be wrapped up and I would not have to figure out how to do art and all my other responsibilities, duties and hobbies.
However, here we are a almost a year later and the need to create…to paint has been so insistent these days. usually , stitching, sketching or collaging will satisfy but not these days…my soul craves the freedom of the paint.
Honestly, I had thought I was just going through a dry spell after painting daily for almost 4 years and that may be the case. Plus, the transitional period of the last year has been a lot for my sense to process.
However, I also think, that I was scared of all the things that painting during this time , both globally and personally, would unearth. What colors would I be drawn to in times like these? What marks would my brushes crave to make? Of course, there are those that plan out their painting and know where they are going …so this is never surprise but for me painting is like a love song…a impromptu one…you do in the middle of the afternoon full of sun and tea and good conversation…even if you just so happen to be in the suburbs in a little house with some crazy kids.
so, I ditched the grand ideas about painting with oils. and canvas. of showing up and out. I ditched the big tubes of acrylics. The big sketchbooks even and decided what mattered was playing again. even if it was small. even if hardly anybody sees it.
I found my supply of gouache and acyrla gouache, inks and pencils, though and it has been a nice compromise. all the colors and pigments. plus, fast drying. I have sketchbooks galore but lately I am loving rag and bone binary notebooks and fabariano.
lol, you don’t need to know the details.. just that the obstacles may or not disappear and somehow you have to decide what matters. what will you find a way to explore and express as a act of ritual and devotion in your life? what noise will allow to leave your spirit and space? what will you add into your life , as it is, to enhance it and meet your longings?
I am learning. Inspiration may not return but the work can still be done with tenderness.
wishing you many moments of creative juiciness ,
k