I swore I would tell the truth.
even if it’s hard.
especially if it’s hard.
so here it is…
I was depressed. Anxious Sad. On. Edge. But also so happy. Overwhelmed with possibility but dragging in agency. I didn’t know it.
I didn’t know that closing down and running away was just my way of coping.
Am I better?…healed. I don’t know because sometimes it is still so hard. I just want to be honest because life can be so hard and one can feel so lost.
I use to fear the darkness because I thought it would destroy me. And maybe it did but maybe it made me something else. Too.
life is complex. I am complex.
why do we humans make everything all or nothing.
there’s layers to this stuff.
I am writing again.
For myself, mostly.
This is the overflow.
I want to give from that.
I am seeing butterflies and vivid colors.
Listening to music differently.
Drowning out the noise more.
One day I want to tell you, if I can, where I have been.
But for now I will say, I am here.
Going to try for once a week and see what happens.
if it is more great.
But the goal is to just