the truth

I swore I would tell the truth.

even if it’s hard.

especially if it’s hard.

so here it is…

I was depressed. Anxious Sad. On. Edge. But also so happy. Overwhelmed with possibility but dragging in agency. I didn’t know it.

I didn’t know that closing down and running away was just my way of coping.

Am I better?…healed. I don’t know because sometimes it is still so hard. I just want to be honest because life can be so hard and one can feel so lost.

I use to fear the darkness because I thought it would destroy me. And maybe it did but maybe it made me something else. Too. 

life is complex. I am complex.

why do we humans make everything all or nothing.

there’s layers to this stuff.

I am writing again.

For myself, mostly.

This is the overflow.

I want to give from that.

I am seeing butterflies and vivid colors.

Listening to music differently.

Drowning out the noise more.

One day I want to tell you, if I can, where I have been.

But for now I will say, I am here.

Going to try for once a week and see what happens.

if it is more great.

But the goal is to just

show up.

be well,

k