doing a thing

I completed the thrive together network artist residency( at home) this month. well, today. I am not surprised that I finished it but I am surprised, if that makes sense.

my art practice has been all over the place for the past few years if I am honest. it has been anything but steady but that could be understood because life.

however, I knew that I wanted to find out what having a creative studio practice looked like for me in this season of life.

essentially, I found out I needed to give myself a break, more grace and be proud of the work that I have done and am currently doing. I need to take ownership of myself as an artist. yes, there is much to learn but I should just learn it (or not) and focus on making art and seeing it.

I am still not sure what I think about going pro. I mean what does that even mean? however, I do think that I am worthy of crafting and showing up to my creative dreams even if they have no monetary value.

the truth is making art makes me happy. I remember that I carried a box of magazines and paints around for like 10 years before I really allowed myself to play regularly and maybe that is a lie. I had this black journal that I got before I went to college in 2002 that I started and really that was my introduction in creating analog things. Before that I learned how to take photos and do journalism type things in yearbook and newspaper. Before that I was in drama class acting and accessing a world of confidence I never knew. Before that I was writing songs and making albums with my friends and creating elaborate barbie story fairytales to act out.

So maybe, I have been creating all along, just thinking it need to look a certain way and check a certain criteria to make me worthy of devoting myself to my practice. I don’t. I am an artist because I create. Full-time and professional are different words to describe what kind of artist one can be. Just like mixed-media and multi-displinary can further elaborate the type of artist one is. However, I show up wholly as me in this word because it is for me no matter what other adjacent words I can use. I make things.

I am an artist. I am a life artist. My practice is my life because it makes me feel more me. I needed to see and honor that. I appreciate that special need in me to create, just for the hell of it. Maybe it is my rebellious nature or maybe it is God signature on me. I don’t have to control the path to walk it with joy. I may add more words to describe what type of artist I am in the future because why not? or I may not. right now, I show up and do the work because it is the kiss of life.

thank you, k, for showing up. for proving to yourself that your own devotion and vision matter most. I love you.