it’s been an interesting week. lots of waiting. waiting for baby (not here). waiting for deliveries(not even shipped). waiting for news ( i don’t really want to hear) and phone calls ( that are really hard to hear when your phone is on do not distrub :(. ) lol. of course, this is really nothing to complain about but i […]
revolution in the heart
“create whatever causes a revolution in your heart” — elizabeth gilbert on january 7, 2017, i began my artist residency in motherhood. i was not sure what that meant. i just knew that i had to begin. i still don’t know what that means but i just know i want to continue. i didn’t have a huge or really any […]
surrender and flow
today, i was pursing youtube for something or another and came across a video of a woman dancing to “ice ice baby”. the dancing was not profound but the joy and excitement in the woman’s face inspired me to find the song and get my groove on. i found a mix on apple music called party starters and me and […]
notebooks, art and healing
my friend m. reminded me that i have a lot to process these days. that i don’t have to have it all figured out. can i just say…i am a fan of pre-processing. lol. which does me absolutely no good…my goal these day is to try to stay present. maybe that is why i keep writing about it all. i […]
what matters
one thing these past few weeks and months have taught me is that life is most certainty not a formula.it’s most certainly not about who is watching and what they like. it’s not about perfection or 5 steps to whatever…. you can do everything right and still it all falls apart. you can want someone to live and they die. […]
rising with mystery
these past few weeks have been all over the road emotionally, mentally and physically. i’ve not tried to contain or explain them (in great depth) but i have tried to be honest with myself about what is happening. one thing that keeps coming up is my “need” to control all the things and the fact that i have very little […]
let your uncomfortableness feed you
we want to jump from our (un)comfortableness. we want to wrap up our humanity in a pretty bow and isolate our feeling and the rawness of life from our little air castles. death and grief are as natural as birth and joy. there is a bit of thread connecting it all. don’t rush to swallow your tears and cleanse […]
open your hands to the water
if your heart is restless awaiting water maybe all you have you have to do is step in the river and open your hands i don’t really feel as optimistic as this. currently, going through photos…finds fragments ofmy friends, family and myself. seeing and feeling in words and pictures already written. the sting of loss is hard and overreaching. dry […]
grandma
last year, my mom called me and told me my grandma died. only she didn’t actually say that or maybe she did. at any rate, last year my grandmother did not die. i was embarrassed and delighted that i had got it wrong. It was sad, nonetheless because my aunt B died instead and this was after a year of […]
one book july and other thoughts
i won’t lie. daily. it gets harder and harder to go into the studio or even the kitchen table to make art. i have wanted to be loose and generous with my idea of making. i still do but i have less and less motivation. i realize this is just life–i have a house, chores, a toddler and growing very […]