The biggest disadvantage of this little brick house is that on very cloudy days the internet is the pits. The hubby claims clouds and weather has nothing to do with cables and fibers and that seems very logical but I still disagree.

Having lived in these walls for almost six years I know a few thangs that defy logic. Like how our tomatoes are finally growing. I’ve had a little garden most of my adult life …even if it was just a window sill. “Seeing plants gives me strength.”

Life is so full these days. I have to be deliberate about what matters…what I will allow to fuel and strengthen me. Plants, art, cuddles, summer fruit…washing my face and fluffing my hair.

If I am uncareful…not deliberate… I can easily get swept up in whirlwind in my mind…emotionally exhausted about a lot of things I can’t control…very human…

The stress stays in the body unless we release it they say…when I go a walk in the morning before the sun has taken over the day…I see the elms and sugar maples…sometime a male cardinal on the top of a juniper singing to his lover. The squirrel who fusses at my cat frolicking in on the fences that connect our little homes and the wild cats that aren’t so wild anymore sleeping under cars and in box woods and Laurel bushes.

The sun washes over my youngest girl on the floor. Somebody got chocolate on the rug, talking about the world but not really because there is a light shining through the dahlia’s stem and how can you not be captivated by it when you get to witness such a story.

My son when he sees a cloud of worry on my face always says – “you are never alone. God will always be with you.”

We cried about having to homeschool not because we didn’t want to but because of why we have to. This was not what we were dreaming of in April (who was) and yet we are here. But not alone.

The cardinal flies on the juniper still and dances on the front gate. The ground littered with shoots and leaves of the neighbor’s tree.

The name of the tree escapes me but people grew it for hard times because they fruit while a bit bitter is full of nutrients.

My oldest daughter brought me a gift this morning…a fallen fruit. I feel like it was peace offering from the morning. Something to hold on to tenderly in the chaos/ A kiss of hope. Of possibility. This doesn’t seem logical…Still it strengthens me.