telling you

there are so many things to write/tell. I feel like purging and telling this blog all the things but I am unlikely to do them any justice.

so I will tell you I finished a collection of short stories by Agatha Christie (Hercule Poriot) and I am convinced the books are so much better than the show/movies.

I will tell you I found some old watercolors in the closet and rewet them and started making little circles. nothing fancy but I can’t believe I didn’t think of just having fun with them. also, found some tubes of watercolor and gouache and started using them like oil paint and that made my soul soar. I have accepted that my style is more illustrated than fine art and that is okay. that is just my style. I can do very detailed labored work but I never enjoy it as much as when I do what comes naturally to me.

it’s okay if you enjoy what is easy and natural to you. I think this constant need to strive is a sickness in our society and it seems to invade every place. I am off the striving train or rather I am trying to get off. it think it will be a natural thing–an unknotting. I am telling you that you are enough right now/so am i.

I have condensed my journals/planner. I had four going at the end of the year. now, I have two main ones. the other two are very optional. I will tell you that fell like a weight lifted and I am not sure why I had put it on myself to start.

also, I like working standing up. I use wet media and have never understood how to make this work for me until now. A small board above my desk and voila I have a flat standing desk (that cost nothing). I will tell you I gained a bit of room and mobility, too.

finally, I will tell you this loving yourself is the magic because you are love. you are from the source of love and a source of love. imagine if you believed it. I am letting it sink into my bones, too. I am love. the source of love created me. all these little things I love delight the source of love. it believes in me…I am love. I keep loving. I am telling you–so must you keeping showing up and loving because you are lovely and love.